Bullying is Unsustainable

This has been something that’s been on my mind for a bit; not just that I dislike bullying and am sick to death of it, but also the fact that in many parts of our Western culture, it’s admirable. “He’s got the stones to do it” or “She’s very proactive in her approach.” Parents deny […]

Trigger Warning (not a pun)

This is 100% my opinion – I’m not actually capable of looking at the hard numbers without having a full on meltdown. The above image I see every time I walk into a bank, a doctor’s office, a restaurant, a movie theater… Pretty much any place I go. But look at the wording – […]

Ghosts of Abuses Past

I’m not sleeping well – maybe three hours in fits and spurts, even with sleep aids. When I do sleep, I revisit over and over, the house I lived in when my first husband and I divorced. It’s 1994. I’m helping a friend of mine move, and find, hidden in the wheel well of […]

Ya gotta know when to hold ’em…

Little bit of a mixed metaphor here – the classic Jeopardy board, along with the Kenny Roger’s lyric from The Gambler – but they fit where my head is today. (I make no promises about tomorrow…) To be transparent, I know I’m in a bit of a depressive slump. “Bi-polar for $1000, Alex?” Or is […]

Reciprocity

Inner Child – Inner teen. This sort of therapy (Only YOU can prevent Forest Fires!) of healing one’s self has been… Meh? Not sure how I felt about it. I mean, c’mon – if my parents didn’t do their job, why the hell should I do it for them? Welcome to my 180. I’m not […]

Curiouser and More Draining

I’m not sure where this is going, but things are a bit… fragmented at the moment. Most of it is processing, and re-evaluating things I’ve been exposed to for my entire life. It takes time for me to sift through the memories; the subtexts, the events; the emotions – and make an understandable framework of […]

Not all lights are safe

The above statements may seem, at first glance, to be either innocuous or patronizing. Imagine hearing them multiple time a day, over and over, in reference to things you know to be true, to be real. Imagine this going on until you’re not sure you trust your senses, or your memory, or even you own […]

I’m an Addict

I’ve been arguing more with my mother – which is a damned exercise in futility and time, because she will always be the victim, the blameless one. “I thought you’d be proud of me for this creative solution. Who knows what will happen in ten months?” Ahh, so it’s okay that you have zero fucking […]

Black Holes

I’m getting sucked back in again. Not because I want to, but because things are astronomically worse than I’d thought. Because the “Information Game” is being played. Because I care about two of my three siblings, and they’re the ones who are on the financial end of the lollipop. I can’t lie – if it […]